Why "Happy Memorial Day" Misses the Mark, and What To Say Instead
IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE IS EXPERIENCING IMMEDIATE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS OR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, PLEASE CALL THE CRISIS HOTLINE NUMBER FOR THE COUNTY IN WHICH YOU’RE LOCATED.
Allen, Auglaize, and Hardin Counties: 1.800.567.4673
Hancock County: 1.888.936.7116
As Memorial Day approaches, many of us prepare for a long weekend including a chance to gather with loved ones, fire up the grill, or enjoy the first real taste of summer. One phrase you may hear in passing or see on store signs, in emails, and commercials is “Happy Memorial Day!”
But at its core, Memorial Day is not a happy holiday. Rather, it’s a somber one.
At Family Resource Center locations in Findlay, Lima, Kenton, and St. Marys, we serve many veterans and military families who carry visible and invisible wounds. For them and many others, Memorial Day is a sacred time of reflection. It's a day to honor and mourn those who died while serving in the U.S. military.
Saying “Happy Memorial Day” can feel jarring, or even painful, to those who are grieving. It’s a small phrase, often said with good intentions, but it misses the deeper meaning of the day.
Words That Truly Support
“I do notice that people want to say something, but ‘Happy Memorial Day’ is definitely not the way to go,” Jade McCloud, FRC Forensic Counselor and United States Army Veteran said. “I had a friend say to me once, ‘I know today is hard for you, and I want you to know that I love you and I’m thinking of you,’ and that was really supportive to me. Veterans Day is the day I want to hear how awesome I am. Armed Forces Day, yep, give me all the sales and deals. But Memorial Day is when we take a more solemn approach and reflect on what we have and the freedoms that exist because people have died, so going with some form of ‘Today is a hard day, and I’m grateful’ is appropriate.”
Here are a few other examples of respectful alternatives to “Happy Memorial Day” to use:'
"Thinking of you today and holding space for the weight this day might carry."
"I’m remembering your service and the sacrifices of those you served with."
“Sending you strength and gratitude today. I know Memorial Day can bring up a lot."
"I'm remembering those we’ve lost and honoring your service as well. Holding you in my thoughts."
"Today, I’m reflecting on the sacrifices made by so many, including those you served alongside."
For Many, Memorial Day Is Complicated
Even Veterans who made it home often carry the memories of those who didn’t. This day can bring up survivor’s guilt, trauma, and intense emotions. If that’s true for you or someone you care about, please know you're not alone.
We’re here to help with compassion, expertise, and no judgment. Whether you need someone to talk to, a safe space to process, or guidance on how to cope, we are here.
Honor Through Reflection
This Memorial Day, we invite our community to pause. Attend a remembrance event. Reach out to a veteran in your life. Light a candle. Share a moment of silence, remember those who sacrificed themselves for the betterment of others, and pay them the respect that many did not get when they were here on Earth.
Memorial Day recognition events are planned in each of the communities we serve. See below for more information on how to attend parades and more across the area.
3 ways to enroll in FRC Services
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We have services available at in-person sites in seven different counties, including Allen, Auglaize, Hancock, and Hardin, counties.
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To get connected with a counselor and enroll in services please call our call-center. They will walk you through the enrollment process and connect you with the right services and counselors.